Where were you...

It's a weird day. It's been about 24 hours since Bin Ladin has been killed. Whether he was actually killed when we were told he was, I am skeptical. The timing is too perfect. But I digress from the point I was going to make. Osama Bin Ladin is dead.

I've been hearing and reading, for most of the day, about how this is one of those defining moments in history. A day when people go, "where were you when..."? Like the OJ trial (I was in my high school Chemistry class. We actually borrowed a TV to watch the verdict, because OJ has everything to do with Chemistry)

But I really don't think this is going to be one of those moments. At least not for me.

"Ken, where were you when you heard that Bin Ladin was killed?"

"I was shoveling bbqed meats into my pie hole and drinking 22 oz beers."

And I barely missed a beat with the meat shoveling and beer swilling. For that matter, not many of the people I was with really reacted either. I don't know if it's because I was a bit drunk on beef and tasty beverages. Or I don't really think this changes anything. Yes, the man who orchestrated 9/11 was finally killed, almost a decade later. But it's not like the entire terrorist network goes down with it. We cut off a figurehead that was basically in hiding.

But that's not my point either. My point is that I think it's weird how stories like this travel. I think a LOT of people got news of Bin Ladin's dead via some sort of social media. Rumor has it that Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson was the first person to know and tweet that Bin Ladin was dead. Ridiculous statement, but if it's on Conan, it must be true, right?

I admit that someone told me and I went to CNN breaking news on Twitter to confirm. And within hours, there was a terribly Photoshopped image of the supposed dead face of Bin Ladin. Except that it was painfully obvious that someone took all of 30 seconds to composite a damaged head and wounds onto a standard Bin Ladin photo. Then there's the beautiful MLK speech that sums up the sentiment of the nation. Except the captivating first line isn't from any recorded MLK speech. And there's no way to say it was even MLK, but it most certainly wasn't in the same context as the rest of the speech.

Real story may never be known. I have kind of resigned to knowing that everything circulated is, at best, a half truth. Especially when the government is involved. But I don't particularly care. He's dead.

Where was I on 9/11/01? I was walking into Woodstocks, mildly hungover, with some of my closest friends. In a good mood until another friend came down crying saying that there was a huge terrorist attack in NYC. We got upstairs to the TV to see the 2nd plane hit the towers. Good mood feeling....gone. That night, OB and I put on a "Fuck Terrorism" movie night. Can't remember the movies we watched now. But I do remember everything from that morning.

Ask me 10 years from now, "Where were you 5/1/11?" I'll have no idea and probably ask how the fuck I'm expected to remember a random day like that.

Ask me 10 years from now, "Where were you when Bin Ladin was killed?" I'll probably tell you I have no idea when he was actually killed, so I couldn't tell you.

It was a great day for BBQ and beer though.

K

In Progress

As I said I would be posting new photos as I went along, here are the first two that I've done. They're not completely done yet, as I still have some tweaking to do and a few elements to add here and there, but basically this is where I'm heading. They're going to be dark. At least for a while. I have a few ideas for ones that don't have so much negative space, but I haven't been in the mood to shoot those yet. 

So photo #1 is my ghost idea. I'm probably going to reshoot the outgoing doorway shot because it's not exactly what I wanted, but it's pretty close. Also, I need to Photoshop in a photo of OB somewhere in the frame, probably on the table in the lower right side that you may not be able to see right now.

 Photo #2. Pretty close to done. I will probably rework the edges of the missing sign. I did a relatively sloppy job taking the crisp edges off. But I got sick of looking at it. It's weird because I actually remade the Missing sign to look like the actual one we used to flier around Fort Bragg. Picture is different, but all the info is the same and laid out in the same fashion. That actually took the longest for me to do. Not because it was difficult. It probably took less than 10 min total. But it was a real uncomfortable feeling and I had to do it over 3-4 sittings. Which is stupid since I was only working on it for a couple minutes at a time, but I'd get weirded out and have to stop.

So there you go for now. I have another one, but I am not going to post that one publicly. I may show it on an individual basis, but I'm not sure it's ever going to go up for everyone to see. 

K

A Contrast in Lines

Interesting contrast in lines... I like the reflection and the way it adds this layer of complexity to the image. Nothing left to say...

and all I've left to do... is run away... from you...

PV

the Floor Sticking to our Feet Like History...

I stole the title from a Modest Mouse song but it just seemed appropriate for the content. I recently visited the Museum of Natural History in New York where I took these photos. It is a strange experience seeing or touching something that is literally millions of years old. We live a fraction of that time and yet we see so much...

I had such a limited time here I couldn't read all that I wanted to... it was nonetheless a very humbling experience. Life is really amazing. Short but amazing. Enjoy it.

Something personal

I apologize for the large lapse in posts on my part. I'm not saying it won't happen again, as it will, but I'll try not to leave such a gap between postings.

So on the serious side for a bit here. I'm currently doing terrible in my Thesis class this semester. My original proposed idea was impractical, lifeless and hard to execute. I think the idea itself is good, but my poor execution was due to being detached and trying to make something out of nothing. I do think the original idea will work, but I would need to change the entire execution and I just don't think I'm invested enough in it to do a good job.

The logical step would be to change my entire project before it gets too late. And for once, I took the logical step. My only issue with this is my new direction.

I've decided to do my thesis project on my relationship with OB and the impact his death has had on my life. This actually was my original idea for a thesis project. But I went against my first instinct because I don't want to think about it. Basically, this project will be my artistic life for the next 1.5-2 years and I didn't want to commit to carrying these feelings for that long.

Only problem is that I do. And I will. Time passes, but it really doesn't get much easier. Someone much wiser than I told me that it'll never fully go away. I am inclined to believe that. 6 months later and I still have to remind myself that he's gone. The curse of being so close to and similar to someone is that EVERYTHING reminds you of them. I know the 6 months is still a short period of time, but I have been getting good at letting things so. Chalk it up to experience with age, but I don't see the point in harboring bad feelings toward anything anymore.

Well, except if you got me thrown in jail. I'm still holding on to that one.

I think the part that scares me the most is that this is about as personal a project as I can do. I tend to operate with a certain level of detachment with most things I do. At least artistically. I write, but it's usually about something trivial. I photograph, but it's never highly personal.

This is. And that scares the shit out of me.

I've sketched and wrote notes on at about 9 photographs (so far) I plan to shoot. Every one will be a self-portrait of some sort, not unlike the ones I posted before.

It scares me in that I'm not overly personal, yet I'm proposing to document and show one of the most emotionally devastating moments of my life. And I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. But I'm trying to wrap my head around it. I think to some degree, it'll be cathartic. To get it out, which I'm not known to do. This blog in itself is atypical for me.

So I'll be posting shots as I shoot them. Comment if you'd like. I get critiqued on everything, so I welcome criticisms and suggestions. I don't take them personally, even if the subject is personal.

K

On Our Way to Disappear

Grand Central Station in New York on a Saturday afternoon. Totally empty and perfect.

Offend in Every Way

What the fuck is wrong with this country when our news anchors keep talking about how this disaster in Japan could be good for our economy. Its as if the Japanese people are not alive to them or something and I wonder if this is indicative of how many people feel about those outside the US. We seem to be obsessed with war. My parents were in Germany a few years ago and the couple they stayed with bluntly said that our problem is that we've never had war on our own soil. At least not in a way that has scarred us to the reality of what war really is.... a bunch of power hungry fuckers using the rest of us to pursuit their own goals at whatever cost. Its attitudes like that, that I seek to change. This weekend I feel like my life was changed several times and I now know I cannot just sit here when there is so much going on in the world that I as an artist have a duty to reveal. So it begins....

Apocalypse later

This will make me sound insane. Which I can't completely refute, but I'd rather refer to myself as psychologically quirky.

Some of you might know, but I've started slowly building my apocalypse backpack. Not for anything specific. I'm not buying into the whole 2012 thing, zombie outbreak or the return of Jesus. I mean if Jesus does come back and says "hey, fuck you Buddhists", I'm screwed anyway because my backpack won't be complete by the time he returns this year. Or at least that's when the billboard tells me he'll be back.

I just kind of think it's a good thing to have. That one thing you grab if shit really hits the fan and you may need to survive out in God knows where for who the fuck knows how long. Plus it gives me a reason to buy cool shit, like machetes.

I guess in retrospect, that just makes me sound even more insane. Plus if the government actually tracks everything people buy online, I've got to have one of the weirder files. And probably flagged. I think in the past 6 months, I've bought 2 knives and a machete, premium photo paper, a compass, a cheap portfolio,  a Phoenix Marvel statue, a fire starter, Little Big Planet 2, 100 ft of paracord, a UV lens filter, 3 seasons of Murder, She Wrote (that was actually my sister's Christmas gift. She has this weird infatuation with senior citizens.) a copy of Kitchen Confidential and a few random movies. And this was only on Amazon. Stupid Amazon and their random array of stuff you never knew you wanted and convenient 1 click ordering.

Maybe I've been watching too many apocalyptic movies. Or listening to too much Coast to Coast and all the conspiracy theories have been slowly seeping into my unconsciousness. But somehow the idea of the apocalypse backpack became less of the in and more of the sane. It's probably a bit more on the in because I haven't actually bought the backpack yet.

But for now, I continue adding to my random ass pile for apocalypse survival. Next will be my tinfoil helmet.

If you happen to see me wearing white shoes and handing out Kool Aid with handfuls of psychedelics, I've completely lost it and please just run me down. It'll be better for everyone in the long run.

K

For Phil, Tyler and Adam

MT

If you are are a fan of "this" musician, the scene pictured here is undoubtedly a landmark here in Los Angeles that you should seek to visit.  When I stood here, I thought of my old friends that introduced me to the artist, and then had one of those moments.  It was fitting that the mural had been sprayed by taggers and graffiti artists over the years.  (yes, the unique wall painting is the center piece to this whole story).  It wouldn't feel right if the painting was unmolested....when my only means to share my photos was facebook, I titled the folder "Time Only Conceals"...(I never title pictures, only folders....yet this folder had but one picture....).....but I don't think that title was well thought out.  At the real site, the graffiti worked its way up, reaching as far as anybody wishing to mark their own presence could extend their arms.  In fact, I once read the painting had been partially covered over multiple times over the years, and the owners of the recording study; to which the painting belongs; had restored it as many times.  Eventually, the owners or occupants will give up due to financial necessity; or will move or close shop and subsequently abandon the right to recover and revive the painting.  Someone will then relocate to this address or a new business will sprout in the abandoned space.  The owners or investors will quickly realize or will have predetermined an opportunity to advertise anything/something/everything important to their affairs, and the space on which the original painting currently rots beneath newer soil layers, a new history will be written.  Many times over, in fact.  And for some, just as important.  Looking long down the march of time, I don't see a present sign or bronze plate of either sunken or raised letters arranged in a way that speaks to what 'once was'... and therefore, I don't see anything assisting the rare future pilgrimage; no placard will be funded to say "An important moment and symbol in a particular musical history occurred here, and, for many years, a reflective painting remained behind, commemorating this time and indeed attempted gracefully to weather the cancer of time, until it fell to the movement of time in 20XX - Paid for by the those who knew"  In fact, if a placard ever does surface, it would be absurd.  Having traveled to many great destinations, I often laughed when I found a placard that stated "So and So lived here, or the XYZ was formed here in 1622, You cannot relate to this, and anyone that ever likely could have cared, surely died 220 years ago, but this placard marks the site, nonetheless"  I don't think Elliot have an opinion, one way or the other, but trust me....it will disappear as it should.  The people remembering will always be relative to the people engaged....so as both fade, both can disappear without the need for true sadness to be considered.  I should have written on my facebook folder, "A period in the time, in which I was lucky to be present"

Matt

Different lines.....

MT
Was just looking at some pics to post....put these together due to the lines I saw in each...  All different styles/different points of focus, but thought they worked well together as a set.  I am amazed, over and over again, at how my first shot at any scene is often ends up being my favorite, no matter how many I take following that initial shot.  I love to shoot objects/subjects/scenes the way I find them, and the most genuine or most striking (IMHO) shots turn out to be from the point I look up and say "oh, wow" and then reach for my camera...I know that sounds generic and even semi retarded, but I think there is something to be said against over thinking a shot or too much effort being placed into a perfect angle.  However, I included Bixby Bridge in this set, because I had a story that goes along with it, and that shot counters what I have written so far.  I traveled up to NorCal long ago and photographed the bridge after passing over it.  I rushed my effort and was never satisfied with what I captured, and for the longest time thought about what I really wanted with it..  Sooooooooo.......When I went to Neil Young's Bridge School shows in October of last year, we traveled along that amazing coastal route and I took my time once I was back at the bridge.  I walked around a lot, looked at a lot of angles and thought about what I saw with the bridge...  The shot is not one of the first I took, and it was really one of the first times that I really surveyed everything before starting to shoot.  Around that time, I ran across a quote from Ansel Adams....it has, of course, stuck with me...  "A good photograph is knowing where to stand.".....  It is so true...cameras are getting better, fully automated etc..  I guess my point in all of this is that I know everyone with a 1000.00 dollar camera has an equal chance to stand in the same place and use the same angles....sure, timing with or presence around "events" or light is always a variable, but my best advice to anyone that ever asks me for it (total requests for advice thus far is still Zero) is this: when you see something that moves you, if you aren't close enough, simply walk up to it and don't be afraid to stand there at any point that makes you say "oh, wow"... if you say that at the first spot you find yourself, then that is your most genuine picture..you only get to experience that moment once, don't lose that chance by checking everything out first - you will not remember to walk back to that first wow spot.  Word of the day is "wow" apparently, and I am giving myself a timeout...

Something new

So now that I've taken a breath since yesterday and I know I can't change what happened, I'm capable of making a bit more sense. All I can assume is that one of my CF cards failed and I lost all the studio shots of one outfit from the big shoot this past weekend. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a HUGE loss. I still have 3 studio outfits, all 4 outfits outside and the drag shoot. But fuck man. 300 photos is still 300 photos. Plus the time, the people involved, everything.

God that blows. Especially when time is at a premium.

But on a bright note, it's always good to try something new. Like photographing someone in drag. A completely new experience for me. And kind of awesome, to be perfectly honest. I didn't have to sit through the "transformation" process, which was nice. As much as I'd like sitting and watching someone put makeup on someone else for 3 hours, eating a sandwich was way better.

And I think I fired somewhere in the ballpark of 350 shots in less than an hour. We were losing light pretty quick. And it was cold.

So here are a few of the drag shots.
Clothing designer: Jenine Hi
Makeup: Raymond Smith
Photographer: Me. Duh
Model: Chris (not sure of his last name) aka Pretty

Probably can't tell as well in a small photo, but #2 wasn't a particular favorite, but it's one of the only ones where you can see that there is a wedding photo shoot going on in the background. It still makes me laugh knowing that there's a slight (although highly unlikely) possibility that their wedding photos may have a guy in drag somewhere in the background.

K

Mobile beer blogging

fuck. fuck. fuck.

sooo goddamn pissed.

i have to reshoot one fashion outfit because my cf card failed. it is beyond gay. more like ghey. i will probably blog more when i am not so blinded by anger. and a bit more sober.

i love and hate that i can write this while i am sitting at a bar.

apparently i can not use capitals or apostraphies though.

also ghey

k

You've got those hands that heal...

A picture of my brother's hands while painting.  I did a larger series that I'll post later, I just particularly like this one cause of the strange colors... almost tribal looking.  The textures seem to change based on the colors.  I tried to tweak the contrast but it started to fall apart so here it is...

 

PV

Duck, Duck, Goose

MT

Alabama, Arkansas.......

 

MT

 Quick Pick 3 from recent road trip....All red states....

Tech Corner: Picture 2 (Middle Shot above, Bus Stop in San Antonio).. I ramped up the ISO on this one....1600 if I recall correctly.  Dark scene, overcast...saw this guy from afar having trouble with his shoes so I knew I had to walk by with camera low so there was no distraction as I didn't want his head anywhere but his hands..  One of the more difficult things is to hold my camera sideways and still frame a shot correctly.  I have learned that if you "softly" place your left hand flat behind the camera while you shoot with the right hand, you can judge the angle much better as the you are not fighting the weight of the lens in addition to the other angles...nearly every time I just 'drop' the camera down and shoot with my right hand supporting the camera and shooting, I almost always get a very very poor framing, even when it feels like the camera is 'vertical'...a lot of street scene shots I get of people up close are shot in the 'dropped' camera position, so you will see that they are from a center position of the subject..  Getting this method correct was a huge step.  I literally stopped for one snap and kept walking....just takes timing and getting your ISO or speed correct before you get to the spot you want to shoot.....

MT


Pickin on Phil Corner, Pt. 1
I want to thank facebook for allowing us to all follow Phil's evening last night during his bender.  Homework?  No Homework...which is it Phil??  You should tweet on bender nights......

9 p.m. Drink in hand. 

9:13 p.m.  Gunna stop, do homework
9:33 p.m.  Haven't started, homework seems far away, open wine now
9:50 p.m.  Shirt off
10:11 p.m.  Just realized I was staring and laughing at the hallway for past 2 minutes..
10:30 p.m.  Totally focused, starting homework
10:31 p.m.  Yikes...wine gone, headed out real quick before I get too far into my work...
11:50 p.m.  Phew....after leaving the Pink Elephant, I totally thought I left my phone in the Glory Stall....
12:11 a.m. Where is that damn light coming from.... too bright.
12:15 a.m.  Sorry bout that last tweeeet, I was using binoculars to look at my neighbor with big boobies and I somehow got focused on my desk lamp.
12:34 a.m.  Shirt on, but on my legs
12:44 a.m.  Legs off....the tripod I mean
12:59 a.m.  Painting my balls green....drink lost...bottle here
1:22 a.m. Found drink, bottle missing now
1:33 a.m. Gunna Facebook everyone to let them know I really want to do this homework tonight, but I am just fooling them.
1:55 a.m. Can someone read that last tweet back to me?
1:59 a.m. FUCK....only one minute left....last call......
2:00 a.m. No bell??  Maybe the bartender forgot....
2:10 a.m.  Angry the bartender keeps serving me.  Damn me Phil
2:40 a.m. I either passed out for last 30 minutes or someone drooled all over my desk
2:55 a.m. Man, my bed is really hard....and not very flat...
3:13 a.m. Just realized I was leaning against my dresser for past 18 minutes
3:58 a.m. Fucking tap water. 

# ?

I feel like we need a # 4 now. So we can rip off a shitty looking movie and totally sell out. Without the money or the big titted blondes with a single digit IQ.

What was I saying?

I'll eat your fucking cupcake.

Welcome aboard MT.

You'll probably regret agreeing to do this.

K

Phantom Meningitis - Poachtagraphy 101

I am number 3.  I have permission from one of the original 2.  The second of the original 2 may not know I have been invited.  I am not Yoko.  I offer the one that has yet to meet me, this cupcake.  Eat it, or die.

MT

Phantom of the Novella

I see this old keyboard and wonder what kind of maniacal bastard must have invented it.  I mean was this one of those my dick is bigger than yours kinda things?  Only for... nerds, or publishers or whoever...  Were people just really uncoordinated back then and couldn't handle pressing little buttons?  Ok, I guess it had to do with technological limitations but I would rather pretend its the keyboard of an evil genius.  Or the typewriter of some mad scientist.  The keys are so large cause he's trained his evil cat to dictate his thoughts or something awesome like that... 

"Take dictation!  He screams.  The cat jumps into action balancing like some ninja warrior on each key... psh... as if cats were that cool.  I might actually like em... but unfortunately they're stupid and sucky and I hate them.  And thats what we call a twist ending everyone.  I typed it up on my evil type writer.  Suck it, this isn't about me, its about awesome old technology.

PV

They Don't Make em Like They Used to...

Went to the international print museum this weekend and took some photos.  The place was pretty crazy... even had a print press like Ben Franklin used back in the day...  Its interesting to me that the history of type is basically the history of how knowledge has spread... 

I wonder if books will be a luxury again...  It seems like with digital technology books could become rare; just not for the same reasons... Its so amazing seeing these machines working after a hundred years.  I mean we don't have printers that last more than a few years today...  It just shows that we don't make things like we used to... nothing is built to last

Its crazy that old school printing is coming back as an art form... I wish I could get into it... it reminds me of intaglio... I miss working metal plates...  Not enough time to do all the things I love.

Phil

Fucking idiots..

So when did it become acceptable to be incapable of doing basic math? I know I don't frequent many high end establishments, but is it too much to ask that someone that is in charge of handling money can actually FUCKING COUNT or do simple calculations without fingers or paper? My personal favorite is when you hand someone change after they hit done and you're greeted with a blank stare and a length of drool starting to dribble from the side of their mouth.

I should be allowed to euthanize anyone and everyone that can't figure out that if my change is $1.93 and I hand you 7 cents, I get $2 bucks back instead of 1 dollar and a pocketful of change that I'll end up giving to a one legged, one armed, one nutted bum that smells like dried urine.

If you are incapable of figuring that out in less than 2 seconds, I get to shoot you in the face.

If it takes longer than 5 seconds, I get to shoot you AND your parents in the face.

If it takes longer than 10 seconds, I'll just put your face in a bucket of water and let you drown yourself. Then I'll go shoot your parents, grandparents, siblings/kids, your dog and the teacher that let you pass 1st grade.

Exceptions to be made if:
A) You're drunk
B) You're stoned or generally on drugs.
C) You're genuinely retarded. And not just borderline retarded. Bona fide napkin eating retarded.
D) All of the above.

Fuck man. It's really not that hard.
K

You Can't Fake This

For some reason I'm becoming fascinated with stupid shit.  Stupid shit like wear and tear or grim buildup... messes and accidents.  You know... the shit we can't fake.  It just happens.  I am learning more and more that when I see a compelling image I should capture it THEN.  Not when I feel like it cause too many times the moment is gone before I get my ass in gear and I am just sick of letting these moments slip away... At the very least I want a shitty recollection or an out of focus distortion of my life.  As long as I capture something. 

I don't really remember what catalog suffered the wrath of our rains but as you can see its been splattered all over the place.  You cant fake this...  I really want to use this as a theme for a series.  Maybe it will train me to either take my camera everywhere or to at the very least start jumping on shots when I see them, instead of pretending I'll get around to it.

PV

Back to School.

Apologies for the lapse in posts. P is too apparently too busy thumbing his butthole and I am busy with my usual procrastination.

I decided to take a short break and be serious for a bit.

As most of you know, I took (and am taking) OB's death pretty hard. Even if I don't show it. I was on the verge of withdrawing last semester and set myself back a bit with the overall progression of my thesis project and my less than glorious grades. Or I assume my grades were less than glorious. I haven't had the nerve to actually check yet. I may never actually check.

To this point, I have only shown these to a select few people and the people I had in my digital montage class. My final project was to do the 5 stages of grief and 2 "recovery" montages. I am posting only 3 of the 7, just because they are the only 3 I was completely happy with.

Just to give an idea, here are the original base photographs. 

I've been reluctant to show any of this mostly because it's actually personal and reflects how I felt/feel. But it seemed about time to share some of it. It's a new semester. I have to get creative (somehow). 

I miss you OB. 

K

Points to Vanish.

P reminded me of a shot I took a few months back. There's something comforting about being around long stretches where you can stand in the middle of the road easily and not worry about traffic. Because where there are no cars, you can dump a body.
K

Off Balance

Palm Street in Huntington Beach.  I guess the wind just stressed these palms into growing crooked.  I'd love to take shrooms and run down this street at full speed.  The zigzagging center line just adds another element of oddity to the scene.  I credit my brother for finding this spot.  Oh, on a side note, the building there on the left is a highschool.  Not exactly the most comfortable feeling taking photos at a school haha!  I have a previous bad experience dammit!  Right after 9/11 my room mate and I went and took photos at a school, well, some concerned Davis citizen thought that was creepy and called the cops cause lord knows two guys with camera bags near a school are up to no good.  One of the cops frisked me... it got uncomfortable when he realized I wasnt wearing underwear.  I will have to find the photo I took of them as they were leaving, it actually turned out pretty cool.  I figured they owed me that after publicly violating me!  Go art! 

The Amateurs...

So apparently Phildo's plan is to get some hate mail. I've actually kept my old hate mail from my old columnist days, mostly because it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh because people get angry over stupid little things and I still can't believe someone actually decided it was a good idea to let me publish opinion columns (btw, if you happen to read this E, thank you. I still get random people that come up and remember something stupid I wrote 10+ years ago)

But I digress. I'm not exactly sure what the point of this blog was. I just knew I wanted to do something and I wanted to work with Phildo. If any of you don't know Phildo, he is a ridiculously talented artist. He also now shoots photos, writes, drinks a lot and has good taste in music. And I'm blessed to call him a close friend.

So this is our contribution, or curse, to the internet. We'll ramble. We'll post photos. We may be drunk. We'll write stream of consciousness diatribes that flow like a Family Guy episode. Or makes as much sense as a masturbating jellyfish.

I apologize in advance to anyone that gets offended.

Dyson the sand out of your vagina and take a deep breath. In the grand scheme of things, what we say, do or post will likely have no impact in your daily life. Hopefully bring a smile, laugh or a different outlook.

If not, just chill the fuck out.

My name is Ken. And I approve this message.