Apocalypse later

This will make me sound insane. Which I can't completely refute, but I'd rather refer to myself as psychologically quirky.

Some of you might know, but I've started slowly building my apocalypse backpack. Not for anything specific. I'm not buying into the whole 2012 thing, zombie outbreak or the return of Jesus. I mean if Jesus does come back and says "hey, fuck you Buddhists", I'm screwed anyway because my backpack won't be complete by the time he returns this year. Or at least that's when the billboard tells me he'll be back.

I just kind of think it's a good thing to have. That one thing you grab if shit really hits the fan and you may need to survive out in God knows where for who the fuck knows how long. Plus it gives me a reason to buy cool shit, like machetes.

I guess in retrospect, that just makes me sound even more insane. Plus if the government actually tracks everything people buy online, I've got to have one of the weirder files. And probably flagged. I think in the past 6 months, I've bought 2 knives and a machete, premium photo paper, a compass, a cheap portfolio,  a Phoenix Marvel statue, a fire starter, Little Big Planet 2, 100 ft of paracord, a UV lens filter, 3 seasons of Murder, She Wrote (that was actually my sister's Christmas gift. She has this weird infatuation with senior citizens.) a copy of Kitchen Confidential and a few random movies. And this was only on Amazon. Stupid Amazon and their random array of stuff you never knew you wanted and convenient 1 click ordering.

Maybe I've been watching too many apocalyptic movies. Or listening to too much Coast to Coast and all the conspiracy theories have been slowly seeping into my unconsciousness. But somehow the idea of the apocalypse backpack became less of the in and more of the sane. It's probably a bit more on the in because I haven't actually bought the backpack yet.

But for now, I continue adding to my random ass pile for apocalypse survival. Next will be my tinfoil helmet.

If you happen to see me wearing white shoes and handing out Kool Aid with handfuls of psychedelics, I've completely lost it and please just run me down. It'll be better for everyone in the long run.

K