Where were you...

It's a weird day. It's been about 24 hours since Bin Ladin has been killed. Whether he was actually killed when we were told he was, I am skeptical. The timing is too perfect. But I digress from the point I was going to make. Osama Bin Ladin is dead.

I've been hearing and reading, for most of the day, about how this is one of those defining moments in history. A day when people go, "where were you when..."? Like the OJ trial (I was in my high school Chemistry class. We actually borrowed a TV to watch the verdict, because OJ has everything to do with Chemistry)

But I really don't think this is going to be one of those moments. At least not for me.

"Ken, where were you when you heard that Bin Ladin was killed?"

"I was shoveling bbqed meats into my pie hole and drinking 22 oz beers."

And I barely missed a beat with the meat shoveling and beer swilling. For that matter, not many of the people I was with really reacted either. I don't know if it's because I was a bit drunk on beef and tasty beverages. Or I don't really think this changes anything. Yes, the man who orchestrated 9/11 was finally killed, almost a decade later. But it's not like the entire terrorist network goes down with it. We cut off a figurehead that was basically in hiding.

But that's not my point either. My point is that I think it's weird how stories like this travel. I think a LOT of people got news of Bin Ladin's dead via some sort of social media. Rumor has it that Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson was the first person to know and tweet that Bin Ladin was dead. Ridiculous statement, but if it's on Conan, it must be true, right?

I admit that someone told me and I went to CNN breaking news on Twitter to confirm. And within hours, there was a terribly Photoshopped image of the supposed dead face of Bin Ladin. Except that it was painfully obvious that someone took all of 30 seconds to composite a damaged head and wounds onto a standard Bin Ladin photo. Then there's the beautiful MLK speech that sums up the sentiment of the nation. Except the captivating first line isn't from any recorded MLK speech. And there's no way to say it was even MLK, but it most certainly wasn't in the same context as the rest of the speech.

Real story may never be known. I have kind of resigned to knowing that everything circulated is, at best, a half truth. Especially when the government is involved. But I don't particularly care. He's dead.

Where was I on 9/11/01? I was walking into Woodstocks, mildly hungover, with some of my closest friends. In a good mood until another friend came down crying saying that there was a huge terrorist attack in NYC. We got upstairs to the TV to see the 2nd plane hit the towers. Good mood feeling....gone. That night, OB and I put on a "Fuck Terrorism" movie night. Can't remember the movies we watched now. But I do remember everything from that morning.

Ask me 10 years from now, "Where were you 5/1/11?" I'll have no idea and probably ask how the fuck I'm expected to remember a random day like that.

Ask me 10 years from now, "Where were you when Bin Ladin was killed?" I'll probably tell you I have no idea when he was actually killed, so I couldn't tell you.

It was a great day for BBQ and beer though.

K

In Progress

As I said I would be posting new photos as I went along, here are the first two that I've done. They're not completely done yet, as I still have some tweaking to do and a few elements to add here and there, but basically this is where I'm heading. They're going to be dark. At least for a while. I have a few ideas for ones that don't have so much negative space, but I haven't been in the mood to shoot those yet. 

So photo #1 is my ghost idea. I'm probably going to reshoot the outgoing doorway shot because it's not exactly what I wanted, but it's pretty close. Also, I need to Photoshop in a photo of OB somewhere in the frame, probably on the table in the lower right side that you may not be able to see right now.

 Photo #2. Pretty close to done. I will probably rework the edges of the missing sign. I did a relatively sloppy job taking the crisp edges off. But I got sick of looking at it. It's weird because I actually remade the Missing sign to look like the actual one we used to flier around Fort Bragg. Picture is different, but all the info is the same and laid out in the same fashion. That actually took the longest for me to do. Not because it was difficult. It probably took less than 10 min total. But it was a real uncomfortable feeling and I had to do it over 3-4 sittings. Which is stupid since I was only working on it for a couple minutes at a time, but I'd get weirded out and have to stop.

So there you go for now. I have another one, but I am not going to post that one publicly. I may show it on an individual basis, but I'm not sure it's ever going to go up for everyone to see. 

K

A Contrast in Lines

Interesting contrast in lines... I like the reflection and the way it adds this layer of complexity to the image. Nothing left to say...

and all I've left to do... is run away... from you...

PV

the Floor Sticking to our Feet Like History...

I stole the title from a Modest Mouse song but it just seemed appropriate for the content. I recently visited the Museum of Natural History in New York where I took these photos. It is a strange experience seeing or touching something that is literally millions of years old. We live a fraction of that time and yet we see so much...

I had such a limited time here I couldn't read all that I wanted to... it was nonetheless a very humbling experience. Life is really amazing. Short but amazing. Enjoy it.

Something personal

I apologize for the large lapse in posts on my part. I'm not saying it won't happen again, as it will, but I'll try not to leave such a gap between postings.

So on the serious side for a bit here. I'm currently doing terrible in my Thesis class this semester. My original proposed idea was impractical, lifeless and hard to execute. I think the idea itself is good, but my poor execution was due to being detached and trying to make something out of nothing. I do think the original idea will work, but I would need to change the entire execution and I just don't think I'm invested enough in it to do a good job.

The logical step would be to change my entire project before it gets too late. And for once, I took the logical step. My only issue with this is my new direction.

I've decided to do my thesis project on my relationship with OB and the impact his death has had on my life. This actually was my original idea for a thesis project. But I went against my first instinct because I don't want to think about it. Basically, this project will be my artistic life for the next 1.5-2 years and I didn't want to commit to carrying these feelings for that long.

Only problem is that I do. And I will. Time passes, but it really doesn't get much easier. Someone much wiser than I told me that it'll never fully go away. I am inclined to believe that. 6 months later and I still have to remind myself that he's gone. The curse of being so close to and similar to someone is that EVERYTHING reminds you of them. I know the 6 months is still a short period of time, but I have been getting good at letting things so. Chalk it up to experience with age, but I don't see the point in harboring bad feelings toward anything anymore.

Well, except if you got me thrown in jail. I'm still holding on to that one.

I think the part that scares me the most is that this is about as personal a project as I can do. I tend to operate with a certain level of detachment with most things I do. At least artistically. I write, but it's usually about something trivial. I photograph, but it's never highly personal.

This is. And that scares the shit out of me.

I've sketched and wrote notes on at about 9 photographs (so far) I plan to shoot. Every one will be a self-portrait of some sort, not unlike the ones I posted before.

It scares me in that I'm not overly personal, yet I'm proposing to document and show one of the most emotionally devastating moments of my life. And I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. But I'm trying to wrap my head around it. I think to some degree, it'll be cathartic. To get it out, which I'm not known to do. This blog in itself is atypical for me.

So I'll be posting shots as I shoot them. Comment if you'd like. I get critiqued on everything, so I welcome criticisms and suggestions. I don't take them personally, even if the subject is personal.

K

On Our Way to Disappear

Grand Central Station in New York on a Saturday afternoon. Totally empty and perfect.

Offend in Every Way

What the fuck is wrong with this country when our news anchors keep talking about how this disaster in Japan could be good for our economy. Its as if the Japanese people are not alive to them or something and I wonder if this is indicative of how many people feel about those outside the US. We seem to be obsessed with war. My parents were in Germany a few years ago and the couple they stayed with bluntly said that our problem is that we've never had war on our own soil. At least not in a way that has scarred us to the reality of what war really is.... a bunch of power hungry fuckers using the rest of us to pursuit their own goals at whatever cost. Its attitudes like that, that I seek to change. This weekend I feel like my life was changed several times and I now know I cannot just sit here when there is so much going on in the world that I as an artist have a duty to reveal. So it begins....